The Little Red Hen (alternative ending)

"Who is going to eat this bread?" asked the little red hen.

"I will," grunted the pig.

"I will," quacked the duck.

"I will," purred the cat.

"Oh no, you won't," said the little red hen. "I planted the seed, I cut the corn, I took it to the mill to be made into flour, and I made the bread, all by myself. I shall now eat the loaf all by myself."

And then the cat said, “Who will help be kill the greedy chicken?

"I will," grunted the pig.

"I will," quacked the duck.

“Oh dear!” Cried the little Red Hen. “Are you all not familiar with John Locke’s theory of private property? Because I imbued the found grain with my labor, I have rights to its increased value that you do not share.”

“Who will help me make a chicken sandwich?” asked the Cat.

"I will," grunted the pig.

"I will," quacked the duck.

“Agh!” cried the Little Red Hen. ”Read Atlas Shrugged. This never ends well.”

And the pig, the duck and the cat all had a delicious lunch and were never bothered by the Little Red Hen again.